Redefining Rockel

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The Film of the Week

The WORD of the Week

Matthew 3:7-10

But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?

Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.

And do not think you can say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham.

The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

Stupid Fact of the Week

There was only one civilian casualty during the three-day Battle of Gettysburg

26 April, 2006

Funny Joke

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

posted by Rockel @ 7:24 PM 2 comments

25 April, 2006

"A woman in a wheelchair who swung knives and a hammer at relatives and police died after being shocked by a stun gun"

posted by Rockel @ 5:51 PM 0 comments

Jacques Derrida

"Western theater has been separated from the force of its essence, removed from its affirmative essence, its vis affirmativa. And this dispossession occurred from the origin on, is the very movement of origin, of birth as death."

- from "The Theater of Cruelty and the Closure of Representation."

posted by Rockel @ 5:17 PM 0 comments

20 April, 2006

Goodbye, Henry

In Memoriam

posted by Rockel @ 4:31 PM 1 comments

"Dear Chuck,"

(Subtitled, "The Word 'Fuck' Sixty-Nine Times")

Normally I would respond item for item to a comment I received containing numerous questions, such as:

"I'm just wondering why, if all these things are true, he hasn't been impeached? Doesn't it ever get old for you liberals to just keep on complaining without ever actually doing anything? What have you done personally (besides vote for John Kerry, hardly an alternative) to get rid of George W. Bush? Have you written letters to congressman? Have you started organizations, written the ACLU, written editorials, anything at all other than post on a blog about how 'everyone hates him'?"

However, since that grew old long before it ever grew fruitful, my response to this most recent comment is as follows:

Dear Chuck,
Fuck Bush; fuck you; fuck simplicity; fuck analogy; fuck hyperbole; fuck stupidity; fuck sensibility; fuck assumption; fuck presumption; fuck pigeons in their fucking holes; fuck stereotypes; for that matter, fuck prototypes; fuck logic; fuck Kerry; fuck the Democrats; fuck the Republicans; fuck politics; fuck controversy; fuck poverty; fuck grandstanding, showboating, gladhanding, backslapping, and palmgreasing; fuck bi-partisanship; fuck unity; fuck the aisle and anything that crosses it; fuck magazines; fuck the media; fuck Hollywood; fuck anyone that stands for anything; fuck immigration reform, tax reform, welfare reform; fuck suits and ties; fuck lies; fuck cries of pain; fuck shame; fuck this land we inhabit, that we call "Blessed by God;" fuck the church we have erected to pass on this message; fuck us for believing; fuck instability; fuck misery; fuck the books that destroy the Church; fuck the people that destroy the Church; fuck the churches that destroy the Church; fuck the rich; fuck the poor; fuck everyone caught inbetween; fuck the third world, those we feel need our help; fuck satisfaction; fuck class-action; fuck legislation; fuck litigation; fuck sitcoms; fuck dot coms; fuck love; fuck hate; fuck lying in wait; fuck decisions; fuck arrogance; fuck impeachment; fuck war crimes; fuck peace times; fuck scandal; fuck morals; fuck the oval office and all of its failures, from lust to greed; fuck rules; fuck tools; fuck distance; fuck proximity; fuck the world; fuck off.

Oh yeah. And fuck me.

posted by Rockel @ 2:15 PM 4 comments

19 April, 2006

Like a...

He is the decider.

posted by Rockel @ 5:28 PM 3 comments

16 April, 2006

Happy Day of Our Risen Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ

My War is over, but this war rages on. Join the ranks.

posted by Rockel @ 6:33 AM 1 comments

14 April, 2006

posted by Rockel @ 7:19 PM 0 comments

12 April, 2006

My Surrender

I hereby lay down any and all arms used in combat during this current Blog War, in all humility and reverence to the conquering force.

Let it be known, however, that said force was not the whiny, tooly tool who tooled around with tooly jokes (some of which he stole from me - like a tool), but rather, the Blog War gods. Why they saw fit to ally themselves with my oppressor is not for me to question, and so I will not. However, judging from the fact that Blogger would not let me upload files monday night, nor update/create posts tuesday morning, coupled with the fact that everything went terribly wrong at work tuesday causing me to work until 10pm, completely missing, in its entirety, this weeks American Idol... one can only assume I have angered them, and must do everything possible, for the good of Red What and Blue, and therefore all humanity, to appease them.

posted by Rockel @ 4:03 PM 2 comments

09 April, 2006

Why I Don't Trust Chiropractors

Exhibit A.

Say it with me, "Goosfraba."

posted by Rockel @ 8:53 PM 2 comments

Taylor Hicks

I liked this guy a lot more when the silver hair was just a part of who he was, not his defining characteristic; before he allowed people to throw a black leather jacket on him.
That being said, the boy's got passion. Not just that, a killer range, which we barely get to hear because of his selections and arrangements.
Now, I'd love to see this guy go all-out on some "Fat Bottomed Girls," maybe even breakin' out the blues harp somewhere in the mix... or throw his bluesy swagger style into "Tie Your Mother Down"... heck, I'd even love to hear this guy do "Bohemian Rhapsody," just cuz he can and it would be totally different...
...but when you've got the entire Queen library to choose from... and you've got the untapped range that Hicks has... I'm thinking a nice, simple arrangement of "The Show Must Go On." Guaranteed Standing O.

posted by Rockel @ 6:49 PM 0 comments

Elliott Yamin

(Blogger is being moody about pictures at present)
Kid's got a voice. Definitely his strength. He's near the top, vocally.
Unfortunately he's comin' off of some off weeks. He's really gotta get the audience back on his side. He's got the pipes, unfortunately I don't think he's got the chops to pull off some of the big numbers that would definitely bring down - as they say - the house. If he feels he's got the moxie, I say go for "Princes of the Universe," or "Under Pressure." Otherwise, stay safe and go with "There Are the Days of Our Lives."

posted by Rockel @ 6:41 PM 0 comments

More War: Healthy Post

"Professor Allen argued that animal source foods have some nutrients not found anywhere else and that pregnant women on vegan diets could be damaging their child while it was growing in the womb."

"You need several eggs a day, preferably raw. Without the eggs, you won't get the needed fats, B-vitamins, cholesterol and as an effect your brains will primarily suffer and the potential of developing depression, neurosis, schizophrenia etc is quite high."

You won't get fat and develop diabetes or die of a heart attack, but you might kill yourself, or live within an alternate "reality."

posted by Rockel @ 11:33 AM 0 comments

08 April, 2006

Join the War

Screw with Ryan.
You know you want to.
Go ahead.
Just move your mouse around inside the pic.

posted by Rockel @ 8:37 PM 0 comments

Two More

Ace Young

The only reason I'm glad he's still in the competition is I enjoy watching Paula attempt to speak words of criticism and praise to him while suppressing the urge to scream out how much she wants to get inside his jeans.
He's got a decent range and sings only one way - soft. My advice: Even though he's probably gonna go soft again (in which case I would recommend something like "I was born to love you"), I recommend he keep his sultry act going but pick up the tempo a bit, with "A Kind of Magic."

Kellie Pickler

Like Ace, it's pretty much only her looks that are keeping her in this thing. Outside of Bucky, she's definitely the weakest, vocally, of the 8. Plus, she has absolutely no rhythm.
Her biggest asset, aside from the ones she's been playing up rather boldly the past several weeks, is her honest-to-goodness, down-home, innocent country girl act she's got goin' on. My advice: She's going to ruin any Queen she tries, but "Friends Will Be Friends" will at least play enough to her advantage to keep her around until she can pick another country song.

posted by Rockel @ 7:42 PM 0 comments

WikiWiki

The War, continued.

"John Seigenthaler Sr. was the assistant to Attorney General Robert Kennedy in the early 1960's. For a brief time, he was thought to have been directly involved in the Kennedy assassinations of both John, and his brother, Bobby. Nothing was ever proven."
— Wikipedia

"Lawsuits were filed..."

Oooh. Filed. Sounds serious.

"Plaintiffs in all three cases are seeking a jury trial."

Get back to me when those lawsuits actually mean something.

Speaking of lawsuits, and just for the heck of it, here are some lovely examples of rulings in our United States of America:

-- Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

-- Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

-- Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

-- Mr. Merv Granzinki of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor-home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit.

posted by Rockel @ 7:27 PM 0 comments

Looking for a Church?

Try this place.

posted by Rockel @ 6:21 PM 1 comments

My War With Ryan

It has begun!

Ryan Leigh Nazionale has a new post you should all check out.

He criticizes my name, yet his name contains the word NAZI!!! What kind of good American doesn't change his (or her) name when it contains something so offensive? However, Mr. Leigh Nazi is pleased with his name bearing an allusion to racism and bigotry, for he is a fascist, unable to shake his true Italian roots.

Hence why he counters my evidence concerning the harmlessness of Aspartame with quotations from some fascist Italian study... and... Wikipedia. There's a great primary source. My sources were MIT and the FDA. Allow me to spell those out for you, Mr. Nazi, since I'm sure you require someone to:

The Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and the (American) Food and Drug Administration.

Ryan Leigh also called into question my ability to count. This is just plain childish and I wish I did not have to respond at all. However, I feel that I must, so I shall attempt to be as delicate as possible. Mr. Nazi is merely jealous that I posses the ability to use a deviation from form within poetry deliberately, something he has shown only to be able to do by mere accident, divorcing from the device - which as any literary device does, relies heavily on intent - any and all meaning.

posted by Rockel @ 5:27 PM 0 comments

Bush is not Hilter

This guy is:

The artwork of Mr. Daryl Cagle:

posted by Rockel @ 1:13 PM 0 comments

Rockel Is Watching You

posted by Rockel @ 8:27 AM 1 comments

07 April, 2006

This Entry Is Dedicated...

To a very dear friend...

Once known as Ryan...

Then, The Daego...

Then, The Wanker Formerly Known As The Daego...

Then, The Cobra...

And now...

Known only as...

The Drip.

This is for you:

"Even daily large doses of the high-intensity sweetener aspartame, also known as NutraSweet, had no adverse effect on study subjects' health and well-being, a visiting scientist at MIT reported in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition last week."

"Analysis of the National Cancer Institute's public data base on cancer incidence in the United States -- the SEER Program -- does not support an association between the use of aspartame and increased incidence of brain tumors. Data from the SEER program show that overall incidence of brain and central nervous system cancers began increasing in 1973 and continued to increase through 1985 in the United States. Since 1985 the trend line has flattened for these cancers, and in the last two years recorded (1991 to 1993), the incidence has slightly decreased."

And now, a Haiku:

My name is Ryan.
I am a humongous tool.
Iambic Pentameter.

posted by Rockel @ 6:34 PM 0 comments

American Idol vs. Queen, Round 1

Undeterred, I will stay tru to my word and discuss the Idol of America:

First up, my bottom two:

"Bucky" Covington

He's not in a good place right now. In most books, he's the prime candidate to be eliminated this week and a +10,000 to win the entire competition. Of course, he was favored to be eliminated this past week, however... Country music... Queen... I say this is the end of the road.
My recommendation for him: Don't be stupid and do any of the big, popular numbers, unless you plan to completely re-vamp the song, which, from past performances seems highly unlikely. Boh. Rhap., Champions, Rock You, Under Pressure, etc. would send him packing for sure. I'd like to see him go home this week, but since I'll have to listen to him sing twice in order for that to happen, I'd like to see him do "Fat Bottomed Girls." I think it's the best fit for his voice.

Paris Bennett

She's cute. She's got definite pipes. However, I think she's too young for the competition. Plus she kinda annoys me. She definitely thinks she has "it," which overshadows the fact that she might very well have "it" if she only didn't try so hard.
My recommend: She has picked songs in the past based on her ability to belt. I think if she wants to hang around she's going to have to show the younger, more carefree side to her. Unfortunately not a lot of opportunity for that with Queen. "I Want To Break Free," in my opinion, would not only keep her in the competition another week, but quite possibly solidify her place for another two or three.

posted by Rockel @ 3:50 PM 3 comments

06 April, 2006

Four Days Later

Ok, it's been a while... here's what's up:
---
President Bush came to Charlotte today to give a speech on the War on Terr'. However, the big news story in Cha-town was that a Char-Meck Police Officer is recovering well after being shot last night, in the line of duty, in the forehead.

Said Bush, "Cheney's here?"
---
I applied for a job... got it... submitted a two weeks notice... company I worked for didn't want to lose me, offered me more... went back to the other company, they offered me more... went back to the current company, they offered more... I'm staying with the current company... full time... full benefits... good stuff.
---
Mandisa got voted off of Amer. Idol, which is one of only 4 shows I watch, although 24 is losing my interest. I may have to get some stronger beverages for the drinking game to make watching it worthwhile. Anyway, American Idol... they're doing the songs of Queen, possibly the greatest band of all time, next week. Should rock. I plan to feature 2 of the remaining 8 contestants on Red What and Blue in the next four days leading up to next week's show, commenting on what I think they should sing, how I think they'll do, and which one would taste the best if I were into cannibalism (which I'm not, but it's fun to use your imagination).
---
Redirect:
Maternal Scholastics
Ice, Ice, Baby

posted by Rockel @ 5:18 PM 3 comments

02 April, 2006

"The Battle of Charleston"

I ran across the bridge in Charleston. If I recall correctly, I believe I finished in the ballpark of 21,000th place (out of 45,000+). I received no trophy. I received no plaque. What did I receive, other than shin splints, sore muscles, and the inability to move two days later? A bag of granola, a "Hooah" energy bar, several coupons, other odds-and-ends, and a copy of The Post And Courier.

On the front page of the "Local & State" section of the South Carolina rag was an article entitled, "The Battle of Charleston," accompanied by an incredible picture of a man dressed in Union army attire - atop a horse - firing an antique pistol while the hair on the mane of his mount swung off to one side, indicating that a rather harsh turning maneuver was taking place.

I read the caption below the picture:

"Stuart Lambert of the Laurens Orphans unit fires on Confederates during the Battle of Charleston re-enactment Saturday at Legare Farms."

Directly below this was another picture. Smaller than the first, it was filled almost completely with a large Union flag that was staked into the ground near a small tree. Another Union soldier strolled beneath its large billowing fabric.

I began to read the article:

"When Allen Badger wasn't sitting and watching gun, cannon and sword fights with her daughter, the Charleston attorney used a disposable camera to snap shots of Union and Confederate soldiers fighting Saturday in the Battle of Charleston at Legare Farms on Johns Island.

"Badger, whose 10-year-old daughter planned to use the photographs in a school project to earn extra credit, said the re-enactors take history off pages in a book and bring it to life.

"'They live the whole thing and put a face to the Civil War that lets the children connect,' Badger said."

Now, I love war re-enactments as much as the next guy, provided that the next guy doesn't care much for war re-enactments. However, Civil War re-enactments, particularly those "of the south," I find fascinating.

Yes, I'm a Damn Yankee. And yes, I'm Damn proud of it.

But more on that later. Back to the article:

"'I'm fascinated with the Civil War. It's so important to pass history to our children,' said [Lyn] Swecker, (a re-enactor).

"Laura Chilton, a 34-year-old re-enactor,... said the fighting and the smell of the gunpowder give her a deeper understanding of history and of war than just reading about it.

"'It gives you a sense of what it was like and what our men went through,' she said. 'It gives you a sense of what our troops are going through in Iraq.'"

Man, I love the south. But don't worry, I realize you can find a nut anywhere and that most of this doesn't even sound all that crazy or great or anything else that would warrant a posting on Red What and Blue. Be patient, we're almost there.

Since I am only really familiar with the extremely influential battles of the Civil War (namely, all the ones the North one), I was not at all familiar with the Battle of Charleston. I will assume that all of you reading are of like mind, and provide a brief synopsis, taken from the same article:

"The weekend-long event (the re-enactment), staged by the 27th South Carolina Volunteer Infantry, depicts Federal and Confederate troops, fighting for possession of cannons stuck in pluff mud on an island on the edge of the Stono River. Confederate soldiers rolled four cannons across a timber causeway to fire on Federal gunboats patrolling the river. The gunboats returned fire and eventually delivered infantry troops to the island. The cannons had fallen off the causeway into the mud as Confederate soldiers retreated, re-enactors said."

Ok, I know what you're thinking: "What the hell is pluff mud?"

Regarding the origin of the term, "pluff mud", the Myrtle Beach Convention Center's webmaster offered this explanation: "'Pluff' is actually the sound you hear when your truck keys fall out of your shorts pocket, while you're climbing over the side to drag the boat out of the aforementioned pluff mud." The closest match of meaning for "pluff" in the Oxford English Dictionary is "to blow out (smoke or breath) with explosive action, to puff". The sound of the word echoes the noise it describes.

So, pluff mud aside, what's the big deal with this battle? Of course you've never heard of it, it was over 4 stupid cannons. "Why even talk about it, Rockel?"

From the article:

"(Hundreds of people) turned out to watch Civil War re-enactors fight in the Battle of Charleston, a make-believe battle set in March 1862." (emphasis added)

posted by Rockel @ 4:10 PM 3 comments

01 April, 2006

Hooah!

I did it. I completed it. I walked some of it. But I finished it.
The Cooper River (pictured above) Bridge Run, 2006, in Charleston, SC.

The sky was not so Red, with dark looming clouds, as pictured, nor the water as reflective, but the bridge was very kool, and some of the views along the way, amazing.

This was my first 10k since my soccer days and so I didn't expect too much, being in nowhere near the same shape that I was 10 years ago, as I have since quit playing soccer, not exercised on a regular basis, and picked up (and then put down) smoking. In fact, due to the fact that my "training" for this "race" took a sharp turn for the worst in the weeks leading up to it (which, unfortunately, I can only partially "blame" on a week-long fast), I planned to only walk the duration with my mom, who had given up on running due to the flaring up of a heel spur. However, between the 1.5- and the 2-mile mark I found myself itching to break out at a faster pace. So I did. Slowing only a few times to make the most of the water stations, I managed to keep a pretty fair (for me) pace to the finish.

My time was, I will say, for my own part, with all things considered, and for lack of a better term, "respectable." However, I'm still not going to post it here. I'll consider "commenting" with it, so to at least keep such information from the casual reader. But I'm not holding my breath, and I wouldn't recommend it for any of you.

posted by Rockel @ 4:07 PM 3 comments

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