Redefining Rockel

You know I never discuss female thermodynamics - Lou; Rescue Me

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The Film of the Week

The WORD of the Week

Matthew 3:7-10

But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?

Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.

And do not think you can say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham.

The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

Stupid Fact of the Week

There was only one civilian casualty during the three-day Battle of Gettysburg

10 December, 2005

Stereotypically Absurd

The other day I was driving my car, when I came up to a red traffic light.

While I waited for the light to turn, I looked over at the CVS pharmacy located across the street from where I was stopped. The store had one of those lovely, high tech signs that lights up, shining out into the darkness all of their specials and such.

An interesting message flashed up in bold, red type:

"Happy Holidays!"

I smiled, being a liberal.

But then another flashed up, equally as bold, and equally as red:

"Merry Christmas!"

How could this happen? I wondered to myself. Something must be done.

But no sooner than I had thought that, a car sped around the corner and came to a screeching halt out front of the CVS pharmacy.

The car was a hybrid. It was covered in bumper stickers promoting world peace, less taxes, and less Bush. The doors flew open.

The two gentlemen who emerged were tall, dark, and lanky. Each had a greasy handlebar mustache that their thumbs and index fingers casually and naturally were drawn to. They cursed and moaned as they stormed into the CVS pharmacy. The last thing I saw before they disappeared were the white letters emblazoned on the back of their black jackets. "ACLU."

Just a few seconds later, a large group of people (mainly women and children... and those less fortunate than most... and the mentally and physically handicapped... and the hardworking sons of industry... and intellectuals...) who looked to be good, honest, innocent people ran out crying.

A moment or two later, the gentlemen reemerged, holstering handguns that were obviously pulled once they were inside the CVS pharmacy. They each lit a cigarette and leaned against their hybrid, staring out towards the sign.

The sign flashed:

"Pepsi 12pk B1G1 FREE!"

And then:

"Happy Holidays!"

I held my breath. The gentlemen stood and took a step closer to the sign.

It flashed:

"Store Hours M-F 7-11"

I exhaled. The gentlemen flicked their cigarettes into a passing baby carriage, being pushed by a woman who looked no more than 16. They smiled and walked over to her, shaking her hand and conversing with her for about 10 seconds, before heading back towards their hybrid.

Before they entered the car, they each produced a handi-wipe from their pocket and wiped their hands thoroughly. Finally, they flicked their trash out into the parking lot, got into the hybrid, and sped off.

Wow, I thought to myself, this has got to be the longest light in the world. I'm never coming this way again.

posted by Rockel @ 4:01 PM

1 Comments:

At 10/12/05 9:02 PM, Chuck Wade said…

Well I almost bought it, until that part about the bumper sticker asking for less taxes. Then I knew it must be a parody!

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Lyrics of the Week

ON THE NICKEL
by Tom Waits

("I'd like to do a new song here. This is eh, it's about downtown Los Angeles on 5th Street. And eh all the winos affectionately refer to it as The Nickel. So this is kind of a hobo's lullaby.")

sticks and stones will break my bones,
but i always will be true, and when
your mama is dead and gone,
i'll sing this lullabye just for you,
and what becomes of all the little boys,
who never comb their hair,
well they're lined up all around the block,
on the nickel over there.

so you better bring a bucket,
there is a hole in the pail,
and if you don't get my letter,
then you'll know that i'm in jail,
and what becomes of all the little boys,
who never say their prayers,
well they're sleepin' like a baby,
on the nickel over there.

and if you chew tobacco, and wish upon a star,
well you'll find out where the scarecrows sit,
just like punchlines between the cars,
and i know a place where a royal flush,
can never beat a pair, and even thomas jefferson,
is on the nickel over there.

so ring around the rosie, you're sleepin' in the rain,
and you're always late for supper,
and man you let me down again,
i thought i heard a mockingbird, roosevelt knows where,
you can skip the light, with grady tuck,
on the nickel over there.

so what becomes of all the little boys,
who run away from home,
well the world just keeps gettin' bigger,
once you get out on your own,
so here's to all the little boys,
the sandman takes you where,
you'll be sleepin' with a pillowman,
on the nickel over there.

so let's climb up through that button hole,
and we'll fall right up the stairs,
and i'll show you where the short dogs grow,
on the nickel over there.