Redefining Rockel

You know I never discuss female thermodynamics - Lou; Rescue Me

Poll

Rockel Recipes

Untested Recipes (1)

All Recipes (6)

Peeps

Politics

News

Fake News

Stuff

The Film of the Week

The WORD of the Week

Matthew 3:7-10

But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?

Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.

And do not think you can say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham.

The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

Stupid Fact of the Week

There was only one civilian casualty during the three-day Battle of Gettysburg

29 November, 2005

Tales From NYC: Went To Hell's Kitchen, Going To Hell (Part 6)

Adam's cell phone rang at 11:30am, waking us both. I rolled over and stuffed my face into my pillow. A loud, very amused laugh from the other room cackled forth, followed by a pause and a clearing of the throat. And then...

"'Ello, love." He spoke while I did my best to yank myself out of bed. "Do we still want to do lunch? No, that was just somethin' we told you at the time hopin' you'd never call us again."

He allowed her to respond to his sarcasm while I made my way to the kitchen tap, along the way laughing hysterically at the situation and gesturing at Adam that he was a wanker who was going to hell. He carried on with her while I guzzled down half of New York's water supply.

"Course we'd love to go to lunch. But we'll have to do... um... One o'clock. Olive Garden. That work for you? Give us time to shower up and all that." A pause. "Yeah, of course we just got up. We were out till god awful hours of the morning, being held captive by two saucy minxes... from Georgia."

He said "Georgia" with a heavy southern American drawl. It was almost too good. I was worried. Of course, I'd heard his real voice. "Why worry now?" I told myself.

By now the tap was running dry, so I made my way back to where Adam was and threw a dishrag at his face.

"Alright," he said, "we'll see you there."

Alright, I thought, just one more hour or so of this. Over a meal. Should be easy.

"Oh, hold on," Adam blurted out, "someone wants to say ''ello.'"

And with that, he held out the phone to me.

I could've killed him. But I didn't know the city well enough to know where to hide a body. I could've spoken in my regular voice and totally blown his cover. But I was hung over, and pasta from the Olive Garden sounded very good right about then. I grabbed the phone.

"'Ello," says I, "we doin' lunch, then?"
"Oy believe we ah." Again, with the accent. "Is that all-roit wiff you?"
"Totally." I'm glaring at Adam this entire time. "Alright, well we'll be seein' you in a tick, eh?"
"A tick it is."
"Alright, laters."
"Lay-tuhs."
Click.
"Bastard." I throw the phone at him.
"What? This is as much you fault as it is mine," he shoots back, laughingly.
I laugh back. "You gave them your New York cell phone number, you idiot!"
"Don't worry, I've already thought that through."

His face bore that smirk of someone who thinks they are immensely clever. It's the smirk of the brave soul who decides to step forward and courageously lead the team through the jungle. The smirk that is the last thing you see on that person's face before they disappear into the tiger trap.

"I figure, if they ask," he continued, "I just tell them it's a phone one of my mates over here is letting me borrow for the duration of the shoot."
"Oh," I say, a little stunned that for once he actually had a plan, "then I'm sure you've thought to take your name and lack of British accent off of your voice mail."
The smirk faded. Quickly.
"Shit."

As he dug around for his cell phone in a panic, I selected what I would wear to the OG that afternoon and marveled at the idea of Adam trying to pull off this stunt alone.

I chuckled.

posted by Rockel @ 10:13 AM

1 Comments:

At 29/11/05 6:44 PM, Anonymous said…

not that I want to rush you or anything, but I would just like you to note how PATIENTLY I am waiting for the conclusion to this story =)

Archives

Lyrics of the Week

ON THE NICKEL
by Tom Waits

("I'd like to do a new song here. This is eh, it's about downtown Los Angeles on 5th Street. And eh all the winos affectionately refer to it as The Nickel. So this is kind of a hobo's lullaby.")

sticks and stones will break my bones,
but i always will be true, and when
your mama is dead and gone,
i'll sing this lullabye just for you,
and what becomes of all the little boys,
who never comb their hair,
well they're lined up all around the block,
on the nickel over there.

so you better bring a bucket,
there is a hole in the pail,
and if you don't get my letter,
then you'll know that i'm in jail,
and what becomes of all the little boys,
who never say their prayers,
well they're sleepin' like a baby,
on the nickel over there.

and if you chew tobacco, and wish upon a star,
well you'll find out where the scarecrows sit,
just like punchlines between the cars,
and i know a place where a royal flush,
can never beat a pair, and even thomas jefferson,
is on the nickel over there.

so ring around the rosie, you're sleepin' in the rain,
and you're always late for supper,
and man you let me down again,
i thought i heard a mockingbird, roosevelt knows where,
you can skip the light, with grady tuck,
on the nickel over there.

so what becomes of all the little boys,
who run away from home,
well the world just keeps gettin' bigger,
once you get out on your own,
so here's to all the little boys,
the sandman takes you where,
you'll be sleepin' with a pillowman,
on the nickel over there.

so let's climb up through that button hole,
and we'll fall right up the stairs,
and i'll show you where the short dogs grow,
on the nickel over there.