Redefining Rockel

There really isn't going to be much of anything in this post concerning Zen... or Art.

Cigarettes. They're amazing things.

Three and a quarter inches long. Cylindrical. Twenty of them fit into a package that fits neatly into the pocket of pretty much any type of clothing apparel.

A Six minute activity. Seven if you're slow. Four if you're me.

Best shared with friends. Or anyone, really, if friends aren't present. That's the one good thing I will say about cigarettes: they bring people together.

Fun Facts, from a variety of online sources:

-- Each year, a staggering 440,000 people die in the US from tobacco use. Nearly 1 of every 5 deaths is related to smoking. Cigarettes kill more Americans than alcohol, car accidents, suicide, AIDS, homicide, and illegal drugs combined.

-- America is the second largest producer of cigarettes, producing 499 Billion cigarettes in 2004 (approx. 24% exported).

-- China is the largest producer of cigarettes, producing 1.79 Trillion cigarettes in 2004 (approx. 1% exported)

-- Although 70% of smokers want to quit and 35% attempt to quit each year, less than 5% succeed. The low rate of successful quitting and the high rate of relapse are related to the effect of nicotine addiction.

-- The annual cost of tobacco use is more than $50 billion in direct medical costs, for a total of $97 billion in health care costs and lost productivity.

-- Smokers pay twice as much for life insurance and will die an average of over 12 years sooner than non-smokers.

-- Depending upon where you live in the US a habit of one pack per day can cost up to $1800 per year. Source: USMC National Health Naval Research Center - San Diego, CA.

-- If instead of smoking 2 packs per day for 50 years, you could have had an estimated $1,000,000 if you invested it in a major tobacco company.

Cigarettes have fascinated me for some time, now, in how they relate to depression. Depression is something I have been around, in some way, shape, or form, for the majority of my life. Or, at least, the majority of the part of my life during which I began (and continue) to care for the deeper things of this world and the meanings inherent within.

When I say depression, I refer to medical depression (i.e. - diagnosable, chemically imbalanced, "pseudo-scientific", uni-polar depression), not neurotic or responsive depression, or bi-polar depression.

Cigarettes and depression.

Beer is a depressant. We know this. People who suffer from depression, if they are not actively attempting to combat their illness, tend to gravitate toward depressants and unrewarding activities.

Cigarettes - I feel - are a depressed person's dream, even though they are not depressants.

The "chemical imbalance" that causes depression is one of serotonin reuptake. For those of you scientists reading this, I apologize for moving so slowly. For everyone else, don't panic, just think back to you college Psychology class.

The brain begins absorbing serotonin (reuptake), those lovely things that regulate mood, hunger, and sleep. This is why most depression (mild to moderate) is treated with SSRI's (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors), that, you got it, inhibit some of the serotonin from being absorbed into the brain. Another less-common, less-pharmacological treatment involves a supplement of 5-HTP (5-hydroxy-tryptophan) which is thought to promote production of serotonin.

When you exercise, your brain releases endorphins. Again, we all know this. Those feel-good chemicals; the natural high.

When you smoke cigarettes, your brain releases endorphins.

Why, then, would I say that cigarettes are a depressed person's dream if they seem to be more of an "upper" than a depressant?

Because I think that it functions as both. No, your nervous system isn't more depressed than usual as an effect of the nicotine, but with all we know today about the destructive power of cigarettes I think it could hardly be seen as anything else.

When a depressed person smokes a cigarette, he (or she) feels better about himself, life, and everything around him, even if just by a fraction, and just for a minute. And although he might not admit this to anyone, somewhere he longs for that.

But he also knows he is doing something destructive, and that feeds the depression.

All of this to say that it has now been 11 days since my last cigarette and I feel extraordinarily healthy, and am actually quite happy most of the time, yet there are still times, as much as I don't want one (if this makes sense), that I want one.

-- Rockel

"To quit smoking is one of the easiest things in the world, I must have done it over a dozen times." -- Mark Twain.