Redefining Rockel

You know I never discuss female thermodynamics - Lou; Rescue Me

Poll

Rockel Recipes

Untested Recipes (1)

All Recipes (6)

Peeps

Politics

News

Fake News

Stuff

The Film of the Week

The WORD of the Week

Matthew 3:7-10

But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?

Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.

And do not think you can say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham.

The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

Stupid Fact of the Week

There was only one civilian casualty during the three-day Battle of Gettysburg

05 October, 2005

There's something about a sandwich...

When it's bad, it's hard to forget. But when it's good, you want to talk about it. Well, brace yourselves, because I had one today... and my, was it good. Leave now, or prepare for:

The Story of Rockel and the Sandwich.

It started as most sandwiches do, with two pieces of bread. But this was no ordinary bread. It was Pepperidge Farms Sourdough bread. Sooo dense. Soooo good. Then, these two pieces of delicious bread were transformed through ancient heating coils in my parents' ancient toaster into two pieces of delicious toast.

From there, while still hot from the toaster, the two pieces of toast were smothered in Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise. Not Miracle Whip. Dukes Mayonnaise. Smothered.

Then, the meat. But no ordinary meat. Oh, no. Straight from the Harris Teeter deli came the finest selection of Garlic Roast Beef, and I helped myself to, yes, four slices.

After the meat, came the cheese. Now, I'm going for flavor here... but also culture. I need something sharp, interesting... and... European, why not? An authentic German Muenster. Incredibly well aged and biting with flavor. Oh yes.

Now, the condiments. Again, we want no taste bud to be left out. So out comes the A1. That's right. Steak sauce on a Roast Beef sandwich. Oh yes I did. But did I leave it at that? Oh no, I didn't. Out came the Silver Spring Beer 'n Brat Mustard (made with real horseradish [not that fake stuff]), and a nice healthy dollop found it's way onto the sandwich before the second piece of toast was folded on top, signaling the end of the building process.

There was only one thing left to be done. Cut the sandwich in half. Into two rectangles, not triangles, as this was a manly man sandwich made for and by a manly man.

After marveling at my, now, two wonderful creations for several minutes, I sat down and enjoyed an incredibly intense dining experience.

WARNING: No guarantees are made to the deliciousness or edibility of any or all parts of this post. If you are unable to duplicate any of the ingredients to 100% effectiveness, Mr. Rockel does not encourage you to attempt to make this sandwich. All sandwiches made from this description may not be sold, traded, bartered, chewed, or digested without the express written consent of Mr. Matthew Rockel, God, and AOL/TimeWarner/HBO.

posted by Rockel @ 7:57 PM

4 Comments:

At 6/10/05 4:09 PM, Unknown said…

Oh man, I love sandwiches. That one sounds great!
At 6/10/05 5:24 PM, InterestingPhysics said…

Could it be? have I found a sandwich mate? I use the same bread and mayonaise to be sure. I may also recomend pepperidge farms Honey Oat bread. Mmmm. Some of the other elements sound tryable. I may try it tonight! Oh Im a risk taker. All your warnings and copy right laws be damned!
At 6/10/05 9:25 PM, Rockel said…

The honey oat does sound nice. I have enjoyed pretty much all of the Pepperidge Farm breads I've tried thus far.

Well, there's really nothing I can do to stop you. The warnings are merely there for your protection. But, I guess, since you have a "Master" and a hyphen before your name, if anyone should attempt this feat, it is you.
At 8/10/05 1:05 PM, Anonymous said…

That does sound like a great sandwich actually...well, except for the mayonaise and mustard parts...but you've successfully made me think I'm hungry and want to try Pepperidge Farms bread! You should do a commercial.

by the way, I really liked the comment you left on my post. thanx.

Archives

Lyrics of the Week

ON THE NICKEL
by Tom Waits

("I'd like to do a new song here. This is eh, it's about downtown Los Angeles on 5th Street. And eh all the winos affectionately refer to it as The Nickel. So this is kind of a hobo's lullaby.")

sticks and stones will break my bones,
but i always will be true, and when
your mama is dead and gone,
i'll sing this lullabye just for you,
and what becomes of all the little boys,
who never comb their hair,
well they're lined up all around the block,
on the nickel over there.

so you better bring a bucket,
there is a hole in the pail,
and if you don't get my letter,
then you'll know that i'm in jail,
and what becomes of all the little boys,
who never say their prayers,
well they're sleepin' like a baby,
on the nickel over there.

and if you chew tobacco, and wish upon a star,
well you'll find out where the scarecrows sit,
just like punchlines between the cars,
and i know a place where a royal flush,
can never beat a pair, and even thomas jefferson,
is on the nickel over there.

so ring around the rosie, you're sleepin' in the rain,
and you're always late for supper,
and man you let me down again,
i thought i heard a mockingbird, roosevelt knows where,
you can skip the light, with grady tuck,
on the nickel over there.

so what becomes of all the little boys,
who run away from home,
well the world just keeps gettin' bigger,
once you get out on your own,
so here's to all the little boys,
the sandman takes you where,
you'll be sleepin' with a pillowman,
on the nickel over there.

so let's climb up through that button hole,
and we'll fall right up the stairs,
and i'll show you where the short dogs grow,
on the nickel over there.